The images I make of myself are a way to learn and process feelings about my body: feelings that are never replicated two days in a row. I am learning to look closer at the flesh and the lines, curves, and marks that I haven’t paid attention to before.
In one attempt, I am making work once more regarding the nature of a new romantic and sexual relationship. This type of work in the past was a direct response to having been told in my formative years that “no boy will ever like me because I am fat.” In contrast, it has become a new exploration of what it means when a person likes me because I am fat. The images are in part a memento and reminder of possible intimacy. They are also a way to look at my body through the lens of another.
In another, I have crafted a life-sized doll. Her name is Meg and she is part myself, part imaginary friend come to life, part lover, and part oversized body pillow. Meg is company to keep, someone to teach self-tenderness, and a surrogate for the relationships I have that are too far away to exist in day-to-day reality. As an expansion, I created another life-size doll based on my partner. His name is Brad and he becomes an embodiment of the daily life I seek with my partner, but am unable to maintain with a long-distance relationship. He is not only a companion of the same type for Meg, but one for me as well.