Horned (photos 1-8)
Horned was originally a form of armor. That armor then morphed into a horned being enveloping me. A breathing vessel to act for me, to hide me, to speak for me while I keep silent.
A horned shell I want to shed yet need as it eats a shred of me each time it takes my place.
I am surrounded by its softness as it extrudes sharpness,
Comforting me while pushing away everyone.
Colors and lines mean to distract than to interest.
Look at me. Don’t look at me.
Both of us acting in tandem.
I am myself. I am not myself.
I find it difficult to be myself and even more difficult to connect with others. This personified shell represents how I hide myself and everything about me from everyone. The self I present and my inner self clash to the point where I cannot differentiate who I really am. The pleats themselves were meant to symbolize this confusion and mimic the spiral of a horn. The colors were meant to divert real attention and the horns and pannier type skirt were meant to more literally push others away.
The question becomes “Why do I do this?” but I will be the only one who knows the answer. Yet paradoxically , this process has helped me be able express and accept myself and others as well.
Other works (photos 9-10) include pieces I am proud of from first semester.